Sestina for the Ages

Old wishes and new dreams laid bare on me

that blur the paths that carry me into the future.

The muddied lessons taken from the past

turn gristly when mixed with how I live in the present.

Is that the feeling of swelling conflicts?

Where is the middle ground? The home for all our values?

My grandma’s traditions and her values

are the legacy she has burdened down upon me.

Her lessons riot inside, the conflict

and confusion casting wary doubts on my future.

“We must conserve our ancestors’ present.

It’s precious. Our culture. The traditions of the past.”

My grandma grew up in an older past,

so does it make sense for us to share the same values?

Should some old traditions not be present

if they force me to change my values that make me, me?

I do not need the past and the future

to mix if they are only going to cause conflicts.

Unaware of the spiraling conflicts,

my parents chide me about the mistakes of my past

and their consequences for my future.

Stability in finance and job are their values,

which they try their best to share and teach me

by nurturing my skills and knowledge in the present.

Are the stifled roads my parents present

really just oppressive pathways that end in conflicts

that riot like fires inside of me?

I only want to continue on a path, paved past

these streets of disparate and void values,

that welcomes me into a free and open future.

But for now, before the looming future,

I want to make the most of living in the present.

I want time to create my own values.

I want to be free from generational conflicts.

I want to leave the burdens in the past.

I want, most of all, a place where I can be just me.

I hope that ultimately, my own values will become the beacon of shining light that leads into the future.

Where my own paths, paved by determination, will lead me through the crumbling roads of burdens and irksome present,

into a place free from expectations and time-torn traditions, and to a place incomparable to my past.